On the Loss of Love

In my last entry, I mentioned that opening up as an artist about one's emotional landscape and state of mind feels like part of the art itself. After all, we consciously or subconsciously pour our identity and psychology into our work. That, I believe, is one of the most beautiful, and in a way, romantic, aspects of art: it can be a glimpse, a window, into one's soul.

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Today, in this brief entry, I want to reflect on the loss of love, which has become not only the central theme of the artwork I'm currently working on, but also the reason I haven't created anything in recent months.

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It's not exactly a secret, especially judging by the emails and DMs I've received, that I've gone through a breakup this year, after more than six of the most beautiful years of my life. It quite literally pulled the rug out from under me. I lost my footing completely, and I still barely understand what truly happened. In the span of an afternoon, I lost the love of my life, my best friend, and an entire family. And as I write this, I still haven’t recovered at all from that loss, and I'm slowly starting to accept that I never fully will.

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I don't have words for the heaviness life has taken on since. It feels surreal: living between a world that continues on, indifferent, and the Polaroids, letters, and memories that remain with me. Between the present and the shattering of my forever.

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Love has always been at the center of my life. I believe love is everything, because all of its consequences are the qualities we should strive to embody: loyalty, honesty, vulnerability, passion. When we truly love, I believe there is a natural inclination to live these values. And I don't mean only romantic love, this applies to every form: between friends, family, partners, even passions.

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Losing love, especially a love beyond words, is, with an awareness and confidence I rarely claim, the worst feeling I will ever have to endure in my lifetime.
And yet, I would do it all over again. Words cannot capture the beauty of these six years, or the soul I had the privilege of sharing my life with. For that, I remain endlessly grateful. What many don't know is how much that time also shaped my artistic and professional career. I received so much support and motivation, and I wouldn't be where I am today without it.

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I want to end this entry with a reminder, perhaps even a plea: value the people you love. We live in a finite world, on a finite timeline. Don't hold back in expressing your love. And when you can, hold them tight.